Today I have a four month old.
It’s weird. On one hand I cannot really remember life without Camryn, but at the same time four months sounds so old! She is already showing me what people say when they talk about children growing before their eyes. In just four months she has gone from a six and a half pound infant who couldn’t even hold her head up to a little girl who smiles and laughs and holds onto you when you rock her. It is unbelievable.
I have always been a confident person. This has allowed me to take on a lot without really questioning whether or not I would be able to complete the tasks, and motherhood was no exception. It might sound crazy for a first time mom, but I wasn’t worried.
I still work. I still have a relationship with Matt. I still play with and help take care of Macy. I still do my part taking care of the house, the yard, the chickens, etc. I don’t really have a choice, but I also do it because I love it. This unexpected life that I have now… I feel like I was made for it.
Now my busy-body nature has an outlet. If I am bored I am not looking hard enough for a task. Now when I sing and dance around the house I do it in front of Camryn, so instead of looking like a crazy lady I’m just a fun mom. Now my love of learning has become something I can do while I paint through podcasts, or more directly as I take on new hobbies like crocheting or planting flowers. I am 29, and I feel like I’ve made it.
I hope you understand why I am writing all this. I am not trying to convince people to live a certain way, to have kids, or really to do anything that I am doing. I guess I am trying to share the fact that having a generally happy life is possible, and you don’t have to retire to get it. When people say “it’s the little things” I think they are right, and I think that Camryn reminded me of that. When you are a four month old everything is new. Every sound, every smell, every taste- it’s all new and exciting and worthy of your attention. If adults could learn to incorporate that on even the smallest level we could all be a whole lot happier.
So as you go into this holiday weekend remembering those we have lost, I hope you also find happiness in what we have gained. Soldiers make a commitment, some with their lives, to helping maintain this life that we are all free to have. It doesn’t matter what choices you make- you have the ability to make them. This weekend I hope you choose to smell the flowers. I hope you choose to pause and find something beautiful, even if it’s just sunshine. I hope you hug a loved one or read a good book. I hope you remember the little things we so often forget.
And of course, live simply.